He, She, We, Me

Cassandra James, dei manager

You may have noticed that people are putting their pronouns in their email signatures, introducing themselves with it, and even asking folks what their pronouns are. Pronouns are not new. They are a basic part of learning a language, but lately they have taken on the banner of being “woke speech.” You’ll hear people say, “I don’t have pronouns” “I don’t use pronouns”, except we all do use pronouns. Misinformation has changed foundational language rules into something to try and ban. So, let’s level set. What is a pronoun? A pronoun is a word used to replace a noun in a sentence. Instead of saying “I think that’s Bobby’s book,” you can say “I think that’s his book.” His and her are considered gendered pronouns, as they fall on the binary, but what happens when someone doesn’t ascribe to the gender binary.  How would you refer to them? By using the pronoun they.  I know that many people quibble about referring to a single person as they, but we do it all the time without even realizing. Picture this, your friend tells you that he just came back from the doctor for a follow up. You want to know what the doctor said, so you ask, “what did they say.” You just referred to the singular doctor as they. According to The Oxford English Dictionary, the singular they showed up in writing in 1375—over 600 years ago! The OED also suggests the usage is even older since written language usually reflects trends already present in spoken language.1

So, in the famous words of Jerry Seinfeld, “what’s the deal with pronouns?” Why is getting someone’s pronouns so important? I have seen people apologize profusely for calling someone’s dog by the wrong pronoun, but that same person will dismiss their colleague when they correct them. Getting someone’s pronouns correct is about affirming someone’s identity and giving them a safe space to be fully themselves. When people are misgendered, they feel invalidated and unseen. When this happens daily, it becomes a burden that can negatively impact their mental health and their ability to function in the world. Before you gripe about how hard it is to remember someone’s pronouns, remember how easy it was to start calling your newly married coworker by their new last name. This is no different. If you do misgender someone, the best course of action is to apologize, and try to be more aware of their pronouns in the future. It may be easier if we start to include more gender-neutral language in our everyday lives. Instead of saying “men and women,” you could say “everyone,” “all people.” We can also put our pronouns in our email signature, by contacting the helpdesk.
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At the end of the day, we all want to be respected and seen in the fullness of our humanity.
1 The Hub

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